During the release party at our local Wal-Mart last year, I attempted to rile the fangirls by showing up in a Gryffindor jacket, covered in Harry Potter pins, with Hogwarts house bracelets on. My purse displayed an image of this description: Lightning Bolt > Apple. You can guess what that means. Anyway, they intimidated the shit out of me. I'd never seen that sort of white-girl-virginal-solidarity before in my life. Seriously. Like, not even at a Backstreet Boys concert. I wasn't afraid of being beaten up, I was afraid of being eaten up.
So I'm going to bust up on the New Moon theater release, I've decided, shouting my excitement about the sequel, all the while pronouncing it 'Tweelight!': "Are you guys excited about Tweelight?! I am!" and "Yay for Tweelight!" and "Go team Cuelen!" and so on. In order to not be eaten alive by rabid fangirls, I think my greatest chance of survival is to beat down the largest, tallest girl there, take her book (because you know she'll have it with her) and claim the position of 'alpha' or 'pack leader' (you have to speak Tweelight or they won't understand). I figure it's a lot like prison. After that, the plan will be to domesticate one of them to ride, or to send for drink refills and the like. Because, I know I won't be able to blink during the film. Oh wait. Yes I will. A lot. Like Bella, apparently. /END HATE.